Friday, March 29, 2013

Luther's Insults

Today I ran across a website that will solve all your future insult problems. No longer are insults such as "poopy head" and "I don't like you" sufficient, let alone appropriate.

Using Martin Luther's random insult generator, you will never have a lack of insults to throw at the next person that cuts you off or makes fun of your tie dye shirt.

Some examples:


"If you who are assembled in a council are so frivolous and irresponsible as to waste time and money on unnecessary questions, when it is the business of a council to deal only with the important and necessary matters, we should not only refuse to obey you, but consider you insane or criminals."
From Defense and Explanation of All the Articles, pg. 80 of Luther's Works, Vol. 32


(Why isn't Martin Luther in Congress right now?)


"You are full of poisonous refuse and insane foolishness."
From Against Latomus, pg. 140 of Luther's Works, Vol. 32


Your words are so foolishly and ignorantly composed that I cannot believe you understand them.
From Explanations of the Ninety-Five Theses, pg. 87 of Luther's Works, Vol. 31


And of course my personal favorite that I've come across so far:


"I was frightened and thought I was dreaming, it was such a thunderclap, such a great horrid fart did you let go here! You certainly pressed with great might to let out such a thunderous fart - it is a wonder that it did not tear your hole and belly apart!"
From Against the Roman Papacy, an Institution of the Devil, pg. 344 of Luther's Works, Vol. 41

He really has a way with words, doesn't he?

Let me know your favorite insult! There's a lot of good ones!


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